Jan 1997 Apr 1997 Oct 1997 Nov 1997


Jan 25
In Transit

I haven't written in here since I finished finals. My neck hurts from shaving. I'm sitting in Tugdan, Alcantara, Romblon waiting for a plane. Oh. It just arrived so I should probably start getting ready to go.

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Apr 20

She sits five feet away from me, yet it might as well be a light-year
 I have no hope of bridging the gap
        no hope of filling the chasm
                yet still I long…
Perhaps it is only wishing to finish what I started
    come to a clean end and get on with my life
But the stillness in my heart keeps me frozen in place
   Slowly dying with every breath.
Perhaps it is only wishing to share my heart freely
     to worry not of receiving pain and sorrow
     but only giving joy and laughter
        without counting the cost.
Yet my heart is as heavy as stone, hard as rock
  and I grow cold and numb with each passing second
           If only I were brave, and the stillness in my heart were broken
             then I could do what I needed to do
             and face the consequences no matter how dire
                  I could live.
           But I'm not brave.

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Oct 1
Non Possum Sperare

You cannot hope, foolish boy with mad dreams
seeking to break the Wheel of Time
and steal the scythe of Death

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Oct 8
The Tentacles of God

The rain trickles down; drizzle patters against the asphalt and the concrete

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Oct 9
Drown My Sorrow

Half a bottle now empty, the rain is trickling, I can hear it
pattering on the windowpane. I swear the wind wants to shatter it
open, crack it into a million pieces like my tormented heart. I don't
even know where to begin, find a soft, still quiet place to rest, to
hide from this wracking wretchedness. Oh how I wish I had never been
born, though it is useless to rail against Fate, the best I can do is
take another swig and hope for the best. Oh, but to win, once, to
wear the laurel crown, stand the tallest on the pedestal, to have that
one sweet moment in time.

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Nov 10
Running Down on Rails

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.

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