I'm not really all that mysterious

the rain

As a coda to my rant and rave about my love life (or, more accurately, the lack thereof), I have these bits and pieces of lyrics to pop music floating through my head:

Then the rainstorm came over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my belief you see
And realized my mistake
But time threw a prayer to me
And all around me became still

—from “Love’s Divine” by Seal

I think that’s the song that set all of this off in my mind.

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It’s the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

—from “Fallen” by Sarah McLachlan

The Art of Not Wanting, once again.

This is where I start wandering off the path.

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

—from “The Scientist” by Coldplay

I think of all those days and nights I frittered away, wishing for impossible things, trying to read between the lines and finding things that weren’t really there. Ghosts of dreams.

I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be

—from “White Flag” by Dido

And then there’s just the possibility that I’m doomed, that my Fate is set. That never shall the timelines cross, that no matter how many alternate universes I search through, there won’t be one where mine intersects with yours, not even for a brief space of time, or more bitterly, for too brief a time. Gone.

Whatever. I don’t know where I’m going with this. As usual, probably nowhere. Such is life. At least my life.

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