I'm not really all that mysterious

Playing a Bard in an RPG

So how did you get your spells? Wizard: through constant study. Cleric: through the grace of my god. Druid: through the blessing of the earth itself. Warlock: through my patron's knowledge. Sorcerer: through my ancestor's power. Bard: Well I just started making fun of a goblin one time and he just like died and it was the weirdest crap ever

  1. Until now, I never really realized that the idea of being a bard was to come up with the worst songs ever, not the best songs (at least if you’re DPSing)

  2. This passage from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy makes even more sense now:

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem ‘Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning’ four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off.

initially published online on:
page regenerated on: